Now I know that some of you are sitting there saying, "Yeah I wish it was that easy." or "Easy for you to say, look at your life" and that's ok. I was there too...
I have this terrible habit of checking the time. For instance, this morning, 5:51am. It was the time that my 5 year old woke up for the first time. He's always been an early riser and we have done our best to train him to stay in his bed until 7:00am but more often than not, he can't seem to resist the urge to take the 19 steps down the hallway to our room and ask for a hug and kiss. There are so many mornings where, in my grogginess, I forget my practice of gratitude and instantly snap "Get back in bed until your green light comes on!" but this morning I chose differently. I granted his wish of the quick hug and kiss and reminded him it was still sleep time and that he needed to go back to sleep. Wouldn't you know, he actually did. Instead of being summoned back to his chambers where he would normally then stay awake and sadly wait for his light to turn green, he comfortably drifted back to sleep. Is it a miracle, no. But it inspired this blog post.
I recently started listening to "Super Attractor" by Gabby Bernstein and also snagged her "Super Attractor Deck" from Amazon (linked in my Amazon Finds Tab) and the very first card that I pulled said:
I release time and allow the Universe to show me what to do.
I can't stop repeating this new mantra over and over. And I already feel as if though it is changing my perception on so many levels. And here is the thing, The Universe is a higher power. Whatever that higher power looks like for you. You may call it God, Buddha, Christ, Mother Nature. For me it's a connection to all the things that are beyond my control. I believe that you can surrender to whatever you choose and when you do, magic can happen.
In the past few years of personal development I have finally been able to attach my thoughts and decisions to terms. Law of Attraction, Surrender, Self-Limiting Beliefs etc. I never knew that as a young girl I was already doing these things, until as a 30+ year old adult I was taught to hone in on them to allow more abundance to flow freely to me. It isn't a gift, or maybe it is, maybe some of us are naturally born with this and only realize later that people teach themselves how to do this or fight to practice it daily. If you ask my husband, he'll tell you I was just born to be this way.
I believe that your energy goes where your energy flows and every day we have a CHOICE to live a life that we want to, or fall victim to fear. You see, fear and excitement come from the same place, it's our interpretation of it that makes or breaks the situation. Let me give you an example. Have you ever been in the market for a new car? I remember when I was FINALLY able to afford an SUV. This was going to be the first time I could buy a car on my own without a cosigner because my credit was so terrible. I REALLY wanted a Honda Pilot but it was just out of our price range. So I test drove everything else. A Kia, Ford, Hyundai, all of them. Until one day we were sitting in the car dealership and the owner drove up in THE most gorgeous white Pilot. Brand new! All the bells and whistles. She may have seen the drool falling onto her showroom floor but she asked me if I'd like to take it for a spin. Gahhh I remember the smell of the leather, feeling like I was the captain of the Titanic trying to look over the hood, and feeling like THIS was the car that was meant for me. Walking away from it was so difficult. And for the next two weeks of us scouring every car dealership I SWEAR the only car I could see driving on the highway were Honda Pilots. It was like EVERYONE drove one! That, in a nutshell is the Law of Attraction. Your energy goes where your energy flows. And yes, I ended up with a beautiful Honda Pilot in the end.
You are allowed to have everything that you ever wanted, if you just allow it in. I was reading a post on a moms group this morning about a woman who is in a verbally abusive relationship. Absolutely with a narcissist. I see it all too often. Women spend way too long in relationships with the wrong person because that person makes you feel as if though "you'll never find better" or because they feel they need to stay in order to not hurt their children. And in the last week I've gotten three private messages of the same subject. I'm not someone that will shy away from hard subjects so let's hit this one on the head. The first time that you can even recognize that you aren't valued, it's time to shift. We tend to stay in situations that make us feel sad, confused, locked down, because of fear. But don't feed into fear. All you have to do is choose differently.
Now I know that some of you are sitting there saying, "Yeah I wish it was that easy." or "Easy for you to say, look at your life" and that's ok. I was there too. I spent almost 5 years of my life in a relationship that was so destructive it's almost embarrassing to talk about. Whenever I share that season of my life with others they are shocked that "someone like me" could ever choose to stay for as long as I did. But you have a power you haven't tapped into yet. It's loving yourself. Realizing what your worth is, and then charging tax. Why would ANYONE else have control of you? Think about that. It doesn't matter if you aren't the bread winner or if you have children. YOU are in control of every decision you make. Period.
I replied to this woman's post on my moms group and said:
You're internally setting yourself up for failure when you make any excuse to not get out of this relationship. Try choosing again and changing your inner dialogue to gather strength.
Instead of:
It will be my fault that my kids hearts are shattered.
Try:
Making this decision will allow my son to grow into a strong man that respects women. His heart will be 10x bigger because of my decision.
The only reason you are still in this relationship is because you are CHOOSING to be. Recognize the issue, thank the situation for helping you learn what you DON'T want, then choose again. And this time, choose joy.
We are preprogrammed to believe that you only live once. But the truth is, we only DIE once. We live every single day. Every morning we wake up with a clean slate and a chance to choose joy. A blank slate to design the life that we dream of. The choices that we make to get there aren't always easy. In fact, they can feel impossible. But The Universe or whatever your higher power is, is ready for you to receive it. You simply have to allow it in.
I believe that you are the sum of the people you surround yourself with. So today I challenge you to take inventory. Think about the people that you are around the most. And that doesn't always mean PHYSICALLY. Are you consumed with the news and media? Then that is why your entire news feed is littered with negativity and strong opinions. Do you call your parent every day even though you are drained at the end of the conversation? Does your best friend only complain and gossip? Is your spouse treating you with love and respect? Take a SERIOUS inventory of your immediate circle and reevaluate what is serving you. Because Sis, if it does not serve you, it does not deserve you. If you're lacking an inner circle, that's ok too! I realized that the people you surround yourself with doesn't necessarily mean those you ACTUALLY know or spend time with. You can create your inner circle. Surround yourself with those that inspire you. Instead of turning on CNN, lean into a self-help book. Pop on YouTube and type in Motivational Speeches. Matthew McConaughey will literally blow your mind. Oprah, Tony Robbins, Rachel Hollis, even BEYONCE! It doesn't matter who it is. It only matters that you do it. Take that inventory and start to weed out the toxicity that is holding you back from everything you've ever wanted. We can't sit back and pray it will happen. We have to take the action steps that show our Higher Power that we are open, listening and ready to receive.
Love and Light,
KRS
Written on 5/16/2020
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